Agreements provide an opportunity for collaboration, connection and communication. The agreements recognize that structure and order are important in society. We need agreements so that people can get along with each other. The agreements recognize that people are the most important part of the equation. Everyone needs a voice in creating guidelines for living together. It is important for children to participate in the policy-making process for a school-age program. Relational anarchy exists outside the standard norms for “relational escalators,” which I think often implies that there are no agreements. Personally, I avoided them to some extent, but thinking back to the relationships I regret the most, I deeply wish a better container had been co-developed through agreements without escalators. Where I find that agreements become restrictive is when they only respond to a superficial need and not to the basic need and/or wound that drives that desire – desire is a strategy to satisfy a need. The problem with grammar rules from the point of view of modern linguistics is that many rules are not absolute. There are a plethora of exceptions to the rules, as we can see here. It can be helpful to bookmark compressed lists of rules like this.
Many of us may have experienced unhealthy rules that were imposed on us as children. I was not allowed to climb trees. That was my mother`s rule. Her basic need came from a chronic illness, which meant she needed extra care, and if I hurt myself, it would have been a huge burden for her. A healthier way this rule could have worked would have been to say that I could only climb trees if I had an adult or older child with me to supervise. Are the actions of school-aged children motivated solely by rules? This is how Webster`s describes a rule. “A prescribed guide for the behavior or action of an accepted procedure, habit or habit.” Another definition is that a rule is “the exercise of authority or control.” What made me think about school-age care rules? The topic is often discussed among school-age educators. Some educators define the relationship between children and adults in a certain way. Children who follow the rules and children who struggle with the rules. The process of creating agreements can be difficult.
All children have a first teacher, their parents. They have a huge impact on a school-aged child and how they shape social interactions. Here at Team Agreements, we talk a lot about rules versus agreements and the important differences between the two. In the Merriam-Webster dictionary, a rule is “a prescribed guide to behavior or action.” While the agreements are “an agreement on a course of action”. Basically, the rules are usually top-down and tend to be based on compliance, with little room for negotiation. Unlike agreements, which are generally negotiable and tend to be collaborative in nature. In school-age care, we may choose to move away from the rules that have the final say in all social commitments. We can move towards a more balanced approach. An approach that involves all members of the learning community. Educators, children and parents can be co-designers of agreements for their learning community.
Agreements based on the values they hold. The agreements for each program will be different because they meet the needs of that community and the people who make it up. Children come together to build knowledge together. The same principle can succeed in establishing relationships through agreements. And that`s where team agreements come into play. For teams to work really well together, the focus must be on collaboration and negotiation, especially when we are working together towards a common goal. This can be challenging for many teams, as many of the tasks we work on are often based on compliance. Supporting children in learning social skills in school-age care is on the agenda.
School-aged children learn and experience social interactions. Many educators believe that school-aged children are only motivated by rules. They also believe that school-aged children appreciate the carrot and stick approach. A teaching method that has a strict structure, limits and rewards. Let`s take another example. At work, when we want to enter into a new partnership, we first discuss: “What is our common goal?” We spend time thinking about how best to achieve the goal, and then we write down a few agreements about how we will work together in this partnership. We give it back and forth several times and we might even sign it. Finally, there is a list of rules, and it looks like the list of rules for each class. However, it was “student-generated,” so they will commit to those rules, right? Different legal systems often promote comparable policies in very different ways. Several distinct patterns can be found in the approach of modern legal systems to the problems of whether a bidder is free to withdraw a bid before acceptance and when an acceptance is effective to conclude a contract. Perhaps polar extremes are represented by German civil law on the one hand and Anglo-American customary law on the other.
In the German view, an offer is binding on the bidder for a certain period of time or, if the offer is quiet in time, for a reasonable period of time, unless the supplier has expressly made the offer revocable. The common law rule is the opposite: an offer is revocable until it is accepted. The two systems also have very different rules regarding when acceptance takes effect when the parties enter into a written contract to conclude the contract. Under German law, acceptance takes effect when it reaches the tenderer, in the sense that the supplier knows or can read it. At common law, on the other hand, if the target recipient uses an appropriate means of communication, acceptance is effective with the sending, unless the supplier has claimed otherwise in the offer. (However, a revocation by the bidder will only take effect after it has been received by the target recipient.) Stories are great tools for creating lesson agreements. Stories that illustrate how our actions affect others, how to cooperate, and how to show kindness to others will help your students share a common context for discussions about their own feelings and behaviors at school. Try to choose a series of books that illustrate these topics and read them with your class. Discuss the characters` feelings and behaviors and let the children share how they relate to the story. Talk to students about what they think the author wanted people to learn from history. These discussions can set your students up for success if you guide them in co-creating rules for your class.
This is again the time to think about the rules and agreements that need to be made for your class to function well. At the beginning of the year, it is very important to ensure that behavioral expectations are very clear to students. One of the best ways to do this is to get help from them to create the class rules and agreements. Sometimes teachers wonder if students will be able to create appropriate rules for themselves, but with a few strategic frameworks and guidance questions, your students might come up with big ideas that you hadn`t even thought of. Try to spread these activities over a few days so that the discussions can build on each other without losing student engagement. What would happen in your office, classroom or family if you replaced many of your rules with agreements? It would probably take longer at first – would this investment pay off? What is the emotional effect? Traditional contract law has developed rules and principles that govern the voluntary assumption of obligations, regulate the performance of commitments and provide for sanctions for non-compliance. If they are not said, they are not rules. These are assumptions. And operating from a hypothesis space is one of the most devastating things you can do in a relationship.
I don`t think it`s inherently wrong to have rules. They create boundaries for a relationship in which it can exist and preserve the cause they serve. The rules are not limited to a person`s limits; They represent a contract to proactively honor and defend a boundary, whether it is one`s own, the partner`s border, or the one that must exist in the relationship. I am curious about the agreements that are with us that could support our partnerships. That is, I promise to introduce myself for you/us/relationships. At the beginning of the school year, teachers often ask, “Does anyone have any idea what rules we should have for our class this year?” So what might relational anarchy agreements look like? Is it possible to make agreements that are NOT self-limiting, but that lead to a sense of expansion? Once you`ve spent a few days discussing students` wishes for their experiences in the classroom and at school, put it all together. Use notes, anchor diagrams, and students work from your previous discussions and synthesize students` ideas. Then present these ideas to your students and discuss what might need to be added, removed, or changed.
If you and your students are satisfied, write your agreements on graphic paper and publish them in class. You can even ask your students to sign the agreement table so that they feel even more responsible for sticking to it. I suspect that we are often confused about the difference between “rules” and “agreements”, and this confusion has a significant impact on our motivation. .